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Bob's Very Twisted Christmas Eve


''Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the house

Not a creature was stirring

Not even a mouse.

The Twisted were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Motorcycles danced in their heads.

With Chris in his Pjs and the dogs in our lap,

We had settled ourselves for a long winters nap.

Then out by the garage there came such a clatter,

I ran to the window to see what was the matter.

There in the driveway was a sight to behold,

Santa was crying and could not be consoled.

Oh Jolly old nick has had a skinful or two,

He was trying to get Naked , And Bob was there too.

Get lost you old coot, from my window I yelled,

He laughed even harder, And said that Bob smelled.

So down the stairs I flew in a rush,

All ready to hit the old guy in the tush,

But lo and behold Santa beat me again

And said from bad language......I must, refrain.

Then Santa did sit with a real heavy sigh,

So I sat down beside him and I asked him why.

My reindeers are pissed in the pub down the road

I thought that Naked could help carry the load.

Oh my I screamed right into the night,

Let me call my friends, we must set this right.

Come Mistress, come Ruby, and Pale Horse, yes you

We have Naked, and Draco and Spirits here too.

Find Raven, get Diesel, and Piglet your next,

Come on Green Machine don't you make me text.

One by one they all did appear,

Then Santa was happy and he did a wee cheer.

With motors a purring and The Twisted all running,

The sight of these bikes was seriously stunning.

Then off into the night sky the bikes did all ride,

With Bob at the front just bursting with pride.

Around the world as quick as a flash,

Flying over the oceans without even a splash.

We rode on till the dawn was bursting her seams,

We did a good job fulfilling kids dreams.

Santa was pleased that Bob had come too,

He turned out quite handy, yes really it's true.

The smallest of chimneys dear Bob could traverse,

Sometimes Santa gets stuck and then gives a loud curse.

But home we are now, our adventures are done.

Santa's reindeer have found him, and boy they are bummed.

Jolly Old Nick straps them all to the sleigh,

Heads out into the dawn and this he does say.

Merry Christmas to all and I'll see you next year,

Now off to your families and be filled with good cheer.

Merry Christmas to my TWISTED Sista's

Written by: our own lovely 

Lady Godiva.